Day 319.

Sunday, November 15, 2009.

Today was a long day at church full of meetings and work from an outside facilitator to help in our recent church conflict. It was long, but it wasn't draining. In fact, it was, in a strange way, uplifting. It felt like a huge relief and what happened in those meetings allowed me to reclaim part of myself again.

I am grateful for integrity.

I have always considered myself a person of integrity and an honest person to the core. I haven't had many moments where I felt that was challenged, until this year. In my leadership role at church this year, I felt like my integrity had been unfairly ripped out from under me and I was left with no foundation. That feeling was awful and it wasn't any one person or thing that made me feel like that. It happened slowly...gradually erupting into a complete mess that had me feeling ashamed...and confused why I felt that way.

So, it's a pretty huge step when I feel like some light was shed on things to make a whole picture - to the point where I can now reclaim my integrity. I guess it was never lost...just hidden.