Day 334.

It's easy to get caught up in everyday violin practicing and have a hard time seeing any progress being made. Really. Hard.

But then I took some video of her (to show her that she was moving her elbow!). I was just uploading everything this evening to my computer when it hit me - she really has come a long way. In only two months she's learned to play the violin! Two months ago she didn't even know which hand was her violin hand and which hand was her bow hand. Now she knows that better than her right and left.

I am grateful for progress.

Sometimes you need a little low quality video to give you a good reality check.

Lyrics:
Do you want a pickle, on your ice cream sandwich?
Yes I want a pickle, on my ice cream sandwich!

Day 333.

I want to be ready for the Christmas season. I want to listen to Christmas music, decorate our house, sing advent songs at church. But something is keeping me from feeling ready. Maybe it's that the fall is flying by. We never even made it to an apple orchard to pick this year, something I'm still regretting. It just seemed to pass by with me hanging on for dear life. And so I feel like I'm still celebrating Halloween when actually I need to be getting out the manger scenes!

I am grateful for "Avent."

Dylan can't seem to get the "d" in Advent. She knows it's there, but it's just one of those words for her. Like "Perftect." Or "Alother."

It was officially the first day of Advent, and from church to decorating at home, listening to about five hours of Comcast Holiday Radio (it's actually pretty good!), I am so ready for this Christmas season to be here. Yay for the holidays! I guess I'm just realizing how fast time flies when you're an adult. I used to feel like the Christmas countdown took FOREVER, and no I'm thinking, "WHAT? We only have three weeks until Christmas?!?!" So, I'm trying to get some perspective. Not wanting it to rush, not wanting it to go slow...just wanting to enjoy it all. Breathe in. Breathe out. And be in the present. The present that is Advent.

Day 332.

The way TO Iowa on Wednesday night was long. We left at 3:15pm and did not arrive in Kalona until 9:20pm. Just over 6 hours. We did stop for a 45 minute dinner, but really - it should not have taken over five hours. Chalk it up to Thanksgiving traffic and rain I guess.

I am grateful for a short ride home from Iowa.

Today we left at 2:45 and got home at 6:30! 3 hours and 45 minutes for the math challenged. Granted, we did have about a 30 minute head start as we hit up the Hawkeyes basketball game on our way to I-80. But still.

I think I've decided 4 hours is a magic number when it comes to traveling with kids. At 4 hours they lose their minds and think it's cool to cry, whine and ask for things they don't normally get. We just squeaked by this time and they actually wanted to stay IN the car to finish Mary Poppins! Score.

Day 331.

Friday, November 27, 2009.



I am grateful for visits to cousinland.

I remember fond vacations to Las Vegas that revolved around family. That might sound bizarre, unless you know that my mom's two brothers and their kids live in Las Vegas. It has always been a wonderful destination, as it is warm, sunny and the strip is always lively.

Now, my kids have two equally exciting destinations to go and visit their cousins - sunny, mountainous Colorado and the farm-tastic land of Iowa. This Thanksgiving we have been enjoying the farmland, and today the kids even participated in some of the farm fun.

On any property with mature trees, leave pickup is always abundant, so here on grandpa and grandma's farm is no exception. Auntie Mo-Mo got out the tractor and the wagon and the kids climbed in. They rode around the yard to the different piles of previously raked leaves and would get out, eagerly pile the leaves into the wagon and then jump back on top of them to go dump on the burn pile. Then we'd go to the burn pile, throw them out the side of the wagon, and do it all over again.

They were hard workers and even though it was cold, they were so into their work, they never complained. They loved the tractor rides and they got to jump in the leaves whenever they needed a cleanup break. What fun you can have on the farm - and what a world of difference from the city!

Day 330.

Happy Thanksgiving 2009. What an incredible holiday that now, after this year of gratitude, I have a new appreciation for. But what is the difference between being grateful and being thankful?

I am grateful for gratefulness over thankfulness.

Thankfulness is important too. It's a good think to be thankful for what you have, to thank those who do something for you or give something to you. You are thankful, or say "thank you." But I think gratefulness is not something you even make a conscious decision about. I don't decide if I'm grateful or not - I just am. I might need to recognize it and may voice it with a "thank you." But to me, it doesn't seem to be a choice but a feeling. I guess you can be grateful and thankful for the same things, but one is felt in the heart, while the other is more expressed with your words.

So, today on Thanksgiving - what am I grateful/thankful for?

- A warm, inviting home to be invited to (thanks Mo!)
- A wonderful family of in-laws who I feel perfectly at home with
- A delicious spread of food, complete with all my favorites (cornbread stuffing, cranberry relish and gravy!)
- Gluten-free, dairy-free food, and family that is willing to make it for me
- Two beautiful children that drove me wild last night when I tried to put them to sleep (they wouldn't settle down until 11:00)...but I still love you both and yes Dylan, I'll always come back to you
- My Breeze family in Champaign and Colorado - I miss you dearly today and have so many fond memories of Thanksgivings past

Day 329.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009.

13 years ago today my grandpa Joe passed away. And 13 years ago today I lost an incredible mentor, a dear friend, and a second father. He was a man of great integrity, and someone I desperately wish my family could have met. I think the worst part of losing him so early is that he didn't get to see me as an adult. He didn't get to see me in college, graduate or do Americorps. He wasn't at my wedding, and my husband has not met him. But most sad of all for me is that my children will never know him.

I am grateful for Grandpa Joe.

Grandpa was kind, gentle, but firm, and they would have snuggled up in his lap and loved listening to his stories. They would have loved playing games with him. They would have loved going out to his workshop in the garage with him. They would have loved feeling special with him. That was one of his greatest gifts - he would single you out and make you feel incredibly special at certain times. You deeply felt his dedication to you in that moment when nothing else was as important to him.

Grandpa Joe, I know we'll see you again in heaven, and I take comfort knowing that Dylan, Noah and Jason will meet you there. In the meantime, each day of my life is a part of your legacy - I hope I am doing you proud.

Day 328.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009.

I am grateful for confident prayer.

I often don't know how to pray or what to pray for exactly. All I know is that when I do pray, in whatever form, I feel a sense of peace. So, while I sometimes fumble through my prayers, I still go back to them, because I know they are crucial to my relationship with God.

I have been feeling a huge weight on my shoulders to decide about kindergarten. Nevermind that Dylan just started preschool two months ago. In Chicago, you think about kindergarten now, or you have no options come next fall. So today as I showered and prepared for a school interview, I prayed. I prayed for peace, for direction, for an open mind. I prayed for help on this journey, so I didn't feel like I was going it alone.

I can whole-heartedly say a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. No, I don't know for sure what we're doing about school next year, but that's OK. I no longer feel like I have to figure it out right now. I have time, and I have help along the way, and I'm not worried about tomorrow anymore.