I need you God...

Day 112.

I feel like a lot is going on right now in our lives. It just seems like my mind is juggling a lot of things. We are working through an intense process of church discernment (in church - I am in a leadership position right now - which is why it is particularly hard). Noah's health has been something to contemplate the past few weeks. We've decided to stay here for the next two years and not look for jobs - so I'm getting my brain settled on city life for two more years. There are ongoing extended family issues (who doesn't have those, right?). And today, especially, preschool is on the mind. I'm just feeling so frustrated with the upcoming cost of preschool. I LOVE K.A.M., but the cost is daunting to me, and the public school girl in me cannot help but want to support the Chicago Public Schools...but really send my kids to them...is taking it another step!

So, I know life is relatively great. I have many many blessings and afterall, I'm grateful for so much goodness in my life. I see it all, with help from these daily entries. BUT, the past week or two, I'm still feeling heavy. Heavy with burden I guess, and that I cannot be grateful for.

I am grateful for prayer.

I have to admit I have had a sort of drought in my prayer life for quite awhile. I just couldn't feel as close to God as I desired during prayer. And so, it left me feeling more distant from God, and not feeling like I know him on a personal level.

Along with this heavy burden, has come a closeness in prayer that I have not experienced for some time. I have cried out to God more and more, and I have felt God's presence and comfort in a wonderful way.