Thursday, October 29, 2009

Day 301.

Wednesday, October 29, 2009.

Jason has a lot on his plate right now. I hate to see him this busy and stressed because there isn't a lot that I can do to help. Make dinner for him, do his laundry...things that I already do. But I can't make his job easier or do his grad school research paper or reading for him.

I am grateful for Jason's hard work.

I know that I get selfish sometimes, because I'm not seeing what's going on at work and school for him. I only see what is happening with us at home, so I get impatient when he can't come home and relieve me from overwhelming days at home. I don't want his weekends to be filled with work, I want them for family time. And I don't want his evenings to be chocked full of grading papers, planning and reading for school. I want his time! I guess I miss the summer - when every weeknight we just sat together and watched shows, caught up on life and enjoyed each other's company. The school year (with grad school especially) is not like that. And I shouldn't expect it to be. THIS is life. We have to have money to live, so we must earn it somehow, and I'm so grateful he does that for us.

Thank you, Jason, for doing this amazingly hard and stressful work for us, your loving family. You make it possible for me to stay home and raise our children right now. We do want you home more, and we do get sad when you can't be as available as we want you to be. But, we will try and be more understanding. You have so much on your plate, and I don't want home to be another place you get stress. It should be your refuge, the place you look forward to no pressures. I am going to try and work harder to make that happen.

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