Only Moments

Day 15.

Today was a hard day for me. To be honest, I wasn't that grateful. I just kept counting the hours until Jason came home. You see, Wednesdays are really long days now that he is back in grad school - he leaves at 7:30am and gets home at 10pm. So then, Thursdays where we don't go anywhere (again) and I am home with no adult interaction all day (again) are really hard. And long.

I was in a bad mood for much of the day, didn't feel all that great and was exhausted. I didn't feel like playing "Stuffed animals go to the mall and ride the carousel" or "Tic tac toe with dollhouse people and cardboard bricks." I didn't want to play Winnie the Pooh Crazy Eights for the fifth time.

But, through all that negativity, I had a few moments of sheer gratefulness. Maybe it's my newfound search for gratitude, maybe it's God giving me a break. I think a little of both. But through Noah's extreme clinginess and need for mama today, what usually would be exhausting, felt really comforting. I was his comfort, and I took that role on with pride. I really held him today. I thought about how this wasn't forever - soon enough he would be 14 and not only will he not fit so compactly into my arms, but he probably won't want to cuddle anymore anyhow.

And Dylan, oh Dylan. She is so dramatic, and I was up for no drama today. But today, I would catch these glimpses of her where I would just see her entire self, for how beautiful, how cuddly, how special, how loving, how silly and how creative she really is. And I wanted to stop time and live right there in those moments with my two angels.
So for today,

I am grateful for being present with my children.