Monday, January 26, 2009

Script for a Muscle Relaxer

Day 26.

My neck is still excruciating. I haven't been sleeping because of it, and decided this morning I had to do something else besides soybeans and microwaved rice packs...get me some drugs.

So, I found an Immediate Care facility in the west loop that had a free parking lot (key for me in this cold with two little ones). And I was pretty impressed with this place. All except for the fact that they obviously hated children. The weird thing is, I'm sure they treat kids there. But, when I walked in, the lady at the front desk looked at D&N and then stared at me coldly saying, "You have someone here to watch them, right?" "The rooms are kind of small," she continued. Seriously? Is that your reasoning here?? - because watch me entertain two small children in a 2x4 train car for 18 hours - you don't know what small is sista.

The look of death obviously worked, because nothing else was said about it. That is, until the nurse called me back.

Nurse: Rhodes!
Me: We're coming... (as I scoop up the coats, winter accessories, cheerios, water cups, magna-doodles, etc.)
Nurse (upon seeing "the children"): Oh...they are coming back with you?
Me: Well I don't have much choice do I? What do you want me to do with them?
Nurse: Well, I'll have to check if this is OK.
Me: Seriously? Because the front desk said it was fine (small embellishment) and really - WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM? I'm their mother - we don't have a babysitter.
Nurse (exasperated): Well, Ok...

I am grateful for a kid-friendly doc.

The actual doctor was wonderful. He looked at Dylan's homemade workbook, picked up their sippy cups, deciphered what Noah was saying: all good things in my mommy book. I apologized a few times for their craziness during the examination (afterall, I was now HYPERsensitive), and he was like, "Don't worry about it. I had a few of these some time ago..." So nice, and what I needed to hear. I just added my own internal interpretation of what he said: Lady, you're doing great - don't sweat it. They are angelic, adorable children and of course I don't mind that they are dropping rice cake crumbs all over my floor.

Thanks, Doc. And for the record, the rooms were at least 8x10.

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