Anger

Day 51.

Friday, February 21, 2009

Having a 3, almost 4 year old is really helping me think about my own feelings. Dylan, at this age, is really working through her own emotions. She feels very angry sometimes, and is figuring out the appropriate way to express that anger. It's a very fascinating (sometimes worrisome) thing to watch your own child learn to express their strong feelings. Most often lately, it's a guttural yell or cry or something that comes from her mouth. It's so surprising, and often embarrassing if we are in public. I had been saying, "You can be angry, but you can't yell like that."

But then my Bible Study was studying "praying our anger" yesterday (with Psalm 137), and it was so helpful to me to remember that anger is an OK thing to express. Of course it's OK to express it, I know that, and I express it most every day. Just this morning I shattered the lid to my biggest and most-used saucepan and skillet. It was also doubling as my crockpot lid, cause I broke that one already too. I was so so angry. I yelled, I cried out, and I stewed around the kitchen in anger.

I am grateful for feelings.

I saw my feelings in a new light and this helped me understand Dylan's emotional expressions. Why is it OK to express my own anger and not let Dylan cry out? She's not hitting anyone, she's not hurting anyone, she's just deeply feeling her anger and frustration. So, I'm going to try to not be a stifler of emotions. And I'm really going to try to not worry so much what others think of me when I'm in public and she gets angry. No, it's not OK to yell AT me in anger (anywhere), but it is OK to cry out/grunt/get frustrated. There is a difference. Yes, we can talk through our emotions and that is wonderful and all. But, sometimes, talking is not enough...for Dylan or for me.