Day 245.

I have a really bad habit of half-listening to my children. See, they talk ALL. DAY. LONG. So, if I want to get anything done around here, say cooking dinner, dishes, laundry, Bradley prep...well I have to half-listen, cause most likely they are still talking to me. Asking me questions. Showing me tricks they can do. Wanting me to play with them. I don't feel so bad about it when I'm really doing something productive or important, but this habit which stemmed from necessity has taken over a bit. See, I could be reading someone's blog, catching up on email, or doing something equally as time-wasting. I don't HAVE to be doing it right then and there. And then my child tries to get my attention or tell me a story and I nod and half-listen. Then, I get caught because I am quizzed about the just-mentioned story. And I fail. Follow my regret for not paying attention and their frustration that I didn't hear them...again.

Ugghhh. It's really not something I'm proud of. And I want to change. We could all do a little more listening and a little less talking, don't you think? So today, I voiced this concern to Dylan, and I'm hoping by telling her, I will feel more motivation to change.

I am grateful for admitting fault to your children.

I told her I was sorry for not being a very good listener to her sometimes. And she said, "Why are you saying this to me?" She didn't understand where it was coming from out of the blue. So, I elaborated and she got it. I told her, "What you have to say is important to me, so I want to make sure I am paying attention. I'm going to try and do better." She said, "Thank you."

And that was pretty much it. It was such a grown-up conversation. And she totally held me accountable - not 10 minutes later when I was playing "ponies and people have a carnival" with both of them she looked at me with a knowing glance that said, "Haven't we talked about this already?" and said "Mom, you're not listening to me..." The funny thing was, NO, I wasn't listening to her. But it wasn't because I was selfishly diving into facebook. Her brother was talking too, so I could really only listen to one story line at a time.

I hope she cuts me a little slack. And I hope I can truly change.