Saturday, May 2, 2009

No, it's not the swine flu.

Day 122.

Dylan was awake all night long...needing me by her side - and eventually (which I knew was coming by her cries "My belly hurts!") she threw up at 5am. Literally 5 minutes after she FINALLY fell asleep and I went back to my own bed from sleeping there most of the night - she threw up - and that was the end of nighttime. The sheets off the bed, then Noah awake too...the three of us...up. So, not only did I stay up until midnight watching The Millionaire Matchmaker, get about 30 minutes of sleep before I spent the night awake in Dylan's room - I was now up at five o'clock.

Dylan only threw up once more, but the day was a "sick day." She spent most of the day on the couch, me lunging at her with a bowl each time she coughed. But, weirdly enough, it was a good day.

I am grateful for happiness.

This day could easily have been the day from hell. I could have caught onto the negative vibe of your child having the stomach flu and easily have lost it. Jason left at 10am for the Cubs game (and still isn't home) and so I was on my own. We were stuck inside on a beautiful sunny Chicago day when we were supposed to be at the Kite Festival. It could have easily been miserable. In fact, it should have been miserable.

But it wasn't. I'm pretty good in crisis situations. I'm calm, take things one step at a time, and am one trillion times more patient than in my normal daily life. We just got done reading The Survivor's Club with bookclub (which I admit I did not come close to finishing), and I just took the Survivor's Profile Test online earlier this week to see what kind of Survivor I am. And, I was a believer. I have so many times in my life when I doubt, when I worry, when I freak out. But when I am in a crisis situation (and yes, my kids having the stomach flu feels crisis to me sometimes), I believe. I trust in God, I trust in myself, and I trust that everything will work out. I really do take one step at a time, and that is the key. Unlike in my normal life as a constant planner, in these moments, I'm not trying to plan out our whole day and if she will be throwing up still at 3:00 or during the night or whatever. I'm just getting through the next minute.

And so, I was happy today. I enjoyed focusing all of my attention on my kids, without guilt of getting anything done or going anywhere else. I made up a bed for Dylan on the couch just like my mom used to do for me, and I loved that. I loved it then, and I loved doing it for Dylan now. (She loved it too, and spent most of the day there.)

I wasn't happy that she had the flu. Goodness knows your mind goes crazy with all the swine flu scares out there (thanks media for creating paranoia). But I was happy to be there for her, happy to take it minute by minute, and happy to have a chance to baby my four year old just a bit.

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